What really drives your decision making? Be honest! Is it reason, feelings, your gut? The likelihood is that your hidden beliefs play a large part in what you do, when you do it and how you feel about it.
What is a hidden belief – I’m sure many of you are aware but here is a short description for anyone who aren’t: We build a belief system about the world from day one. Every experience form a belief about ourselves, about other and about the world. Many of these beliefs are unconscious (hidden). Many times they are anchored by our learnings in our childhood and teenage years. They keep developing our whole life however and many of them can be liming (unhelpful) in our lives.
We live in an era when we are bombarded with content and information and images. What we should look like, what we should accomplish, what success looks like etc. What you should do and what is celebrated in this world is pushed on you from an early age and form a set framework that we constantly compare ourselves against. Especially with the rise of social media. The media can have positive influence, don’t get me wrong, but more often it creates a feeling of not being good enough. The most common limiting belief is the NOT GOOD ENOUGH belief! Majority of us have this belief in some aspect of our lives at some point.
So how we overcome this liming (sometimes hidden) belief? Well, when in doubt call it out!! Ask this killer question: What do you need to believe to feel this way? About yourself? About others? About the world?
This simple but powerful question will challenge your thought patterns and it can be a true eyeopener. I’m using this question a lot and it has helped me overcome insecurities and doubt in almost every aspect of my life (not that I’m done in any way but huge progression made). I hope it can for you too!
Once you have called out your beliefs – make as long list as you can that argues against this. I’m going to give you an example: I was not raised in a very sporty family, I grew up on the countryside where the sports options were extremely limited. As a result I never got into any sport and I absolutely hated gym class. So my relation to sport has been very anxiety loaded. My belief has always been that I’m not very good at sports. Since we moved to Abu Dhabi, my husband and I have a basketball court around the corner, something that my husband is very excited about since he played a lot when he was younger. So when he suggested that we start playing I immediately though – I can’t do that!! I don’t even know how to shoot – I will look ridiculous!! There are always people there, they will laugh at me! I’m not sporty so I will never learn! But I called myself out and made a list of the reasons why I was wrong:
- I have actually never played basketball so who knows how good I can be?
- It’s sport one can enjoy at all levels so why can’t I do it?
- If people laugh, it’s not a reflection on me but on them, and really – how likely is it that they do? Does it even matter?
- I reminded me of the growth mindset (For anyone who doesn’t know what is is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyIF5VUOJc0) – you can always be better than yesterday! And you can always add the word “yet” after – I’m not good at basketball, YET!
So my tips are: surround yourself with positive influences to form positive beliefs in the first place and remember – when in doubt call it out!
This is the first article in a series of addressing Beliefs – hidden and limiting!
Ready to smash your liming beliefs? Get the bite sized coaching package for conquering your limiting beliefs HERE!
Get more useful content that will help you overcome your hidden beliefs by signing up to me newsletter!